Homeless People on the Streets of Toronto

My roommate was telling me stories of her experiences of how the streets of Toronto haven't been safe. Today, one happened to me.

I was pushed to the ground by a homeless person for no apparent reason. I was busy thinking about other stuff to understand that that is considered an assault. I was thinking, "Ok, so, am I going to allow myself to think that this was an evil act?" I was too busy thinking about how I felt about it to think of it as an assault.

I just called Toronto Police to make sure it is considered an assault. And now I so wish I had called the police! Now that I am thinking, I am wondering where the hell I was! Duh! It's assault. He pushed me to the ground for NO reason.

I was also thinking that I have recently been dealing with enough difficult stuff to let this get to me. Frankly, emotionally, this was a small thing for me to be angry at.

I am a little amazed at how your focus can change how you view a situation. My focus was on myself and how I felt about it. My focus was on making sure that I stay emotionally stable over this because this matter didn't need me getting all worked up and destroying the rest of my day by ruminating over it.

O well, for next time, which I hope never comes, I will remember to call the police and stay emotionally stable.

My message is: Be very watchful of your surroundings in downtown Toronto. All I was doing was looking for my roommate's number on my phone. I didn't see him coming. It is weird how I have been in downtown very regularly for years now and this happened now.

Good poetry makes me MELTTT!

I had one of the most enjoyable nights tonight :D. A friend and I sat in my room and read poetry of the two greatest poets in the history of Urdu language; Ghalib and Iqbal.

Do I love poetry or what!? It actually excites me. The deep meaning, the possibility several different meanings, the use of words in extremeluy creative ways, the use of ideas in such creative ways that I can never even imagine... Some part of me feels like it comes alive with such great poetry.

We were reading Ghalib and Iqbal's poetry. Here are a few snippets of my favourites from Ghalib:

Ya rab, woh na samjhay haiN na sumjhaiN gay meree baat
Day aur dil un ko jo na day mujh ko zubaaN aur

hota hai nihaaN gard meiN sehra mere hotay
ghisata hai jabeeN KHaak pe dariya mere aage
[ nihaaN = hidden, gard = dust, sehra = desert, jabeeN = forehead ]

zulmat_kade meiN mere shab-e-GHam ka josh hai
ik shamma'a hai daleel-e-sahar, so KHamosh hai
[ zulmat = darkness, daleele = proof, sahar = morning ]

There is a lottttt of Ghalib's poetry that I love. I can see myself dedicating posts after posts to his poetry.

Stay tuned! And let me know what poetry (if any) you enjoy.

Vegetarianism

I have been a vegetarian for a bit over a month now. I don't remember exactly when it started. It seems like it has been more than a month, easily.

It wasn't something I consciously wanted to be at this point in time. I have thought about becoming a vegetarian at some point in my life but it wasn't going to happen any time soon.

Now, I feel like eating any kind of meat is just wrong. It just feels wrongggg.

A while ago, when I was home, my parents were eating meat kababs and I felt like telling them that they are committing sin. I felt like it was a sin! And guess what, I am far from being religious neither are my parents too religious. I was at a family reunion this past week and for lunch on Saturday, all main dishes were meat and they all looked gooood! I told myself that I will try to eat meat this one time because there is nothing else and because it looked so delicious, I wanted to eat it. I took it in my plate and the thought that its meat ran through my head, I couldn't eat it.

I am learning how to make sure I am getting all required nutrients. Lately, I have been concentrating on protiens and taking vitamins. Soon I will need to start thinking about iron, magnesium, folate and all.

I am just not eating meat. It seems like soon I won't be eating eggs either. I am liking my eggs a lot these days, though :(.

Complexity of understanding

Somethings should be better left as simple as black and white. I am unsure if it is my natural tendency or UofT's education that keeps me from thinking in a simple way.

Nothing is as is. Everything has a gazillion deeper meanings. Everything can be understood in a billion different ways. Everything points to a million different problems and issues. Nothing is as it is. I can not take anything on face value. Everything means something and it is impossible to discern what that something is or which of those meanings is most meaningful.

For example, ever wonder why someone acts a certain way? Why someone says a certain kind of things or why they get angry when others dont? Why someone gets angrier quickly and others dont? Ever tried to answer those questions? It is impossibly difficult to reach conclusions. No, no, not just about others, about yourself too. You can come up with a good answer or a good explanation but can never be sure if its the right one.

Ever tried to make a decision based on those questions? Dear God, it is painstakingly difficult! Sometimes things just get so complicated that you wish you had never started thinking. Thinking and knowing how to look at problems from different aspects doesn't actually make it any easier to solve the problems if there is no certainty about which way to finally look at it. You can collect as much information as you like to support whichever decision you want to take. So, if you're confused about a decision, look at what kind of thoughts/facts occur to you the most. And there you go with your decision.

Let me warn you though, that is going completely against rational, logical thinking. What occurs to you at the moment is based on how you feel about a certain situation at the moment. So what do you do when you keep going back and forth between two emotions that point towards different results?

Well, that is my question and confusion. What do you do?

My solution for now seems to be, I should (and I don't know if I can recommend this) stop thinking so much about my feelings -both near and far sighted- and rational understanding of situations. I should learn to take things as either or, black or white. Simplify my life and my thinking. Decide what can be and what can't be regardless of possible explanation. But haha, I can't accept that. Explanations make a thing different from what it is not, so how can I ignore those?

God help me!

Welcome to Below the Heavens!

So, this blog is all about everything below the heavens. Mind you, that heaven and everything below it, is whatever that runs through my mind!

I hope to write about anything and everything that occurs to me. I will try to keep the entries short. My plan is to have fun with it and share my thoughts with everyone. This will include a lot of topics that my friends and I discuss hour after hour. This will also include stuff that occurs to me as complicated questions but don't get answered much. The point is to share my thoughts and get to see what others think of those issues and how they respond to them. So basically, I want it to be a discussion, a fun one!

I hope to have everything from intellectual issues to the nuances of daily life.

I look forward to emptying my mind out here :D. And for you to (hopefully) enjoy it in some context.

Happy Reading!