There are certain kinds of thinking that I really like. There is a certain context to opinions that I enjoy.

I get passions too.

But somewhere on that road from opinions to passions to persuasion, there develops a bitter taste. The underlying intentions upholding "persuasion" just never agree with me, no matter how amazing the cause.

There may be a discussion of opinions and passions. There may be a need to have someone understand one's opinions and passions. But the desire to convert or offer to "band together" to fight against "common evil" leaves me rolling my eyes - quite literally.

Persuasion often requires simplification of facts to a binary. It requires charismatic personalities. It also most definitely can do with real facts, but really, can you really persuade? Are there absolutely no loopholes in your arguments?



I should mention that I am talking about political and religious/philosophical persuasion here. Little bit of persuasion happens in daily life all the time. 

I have recently grown fond of book introductions, prologue and first chapters.

They always set the tone for a book and provide context. I find those contexts to be a lot more interesting and "wise-seeming". I can then use that discussion of context/lens (which isn't always treated as "one of many perspectives") and apply it to other areas. 

Qaaf

Alrighty, correct pronunciation of Qaaf vs. Khe is definitely an aphrodisiac

Don't mean to toot my own horn, but man, (sometimes) I can make deeeeeelicious food
*toots horn*

Last night following was produced within an hour and a half:

Egg-spinach quiche - with sun dried tomatoes
Mexican all-protein casserole
Stir-fried veggies with sesame seeds and nuts
Guacamole
Quinoa

Egg salad with yogurt was to be made - to be served with guacamole, but there was more than enough food already.

It's all so yummy that I ran home today to eat it.

More crap I hear from people, harder I get around the edges, more forceful I get about my boundaries.

Losing patience for crap from people who know better but refuse to take responsibility.

I may end up becoming a bitter bitch if this continues.

Je want a totally fit body. Strong. Allison Stokke is the inspiration.

*munches on chips*

I have been having some unexpectedly nice conversations with nana abbu lately.

Unexpected because for the last little while, he hasn't been cognitively fully aware. He hasn't fully been there. We had all stopped expecting him to remember little details. He had his episodes of clarity, usually around 2am after a nap.

For the last little while he has actually been there. I am able to connect back to conversations we had few days ago and he remembers details. I know last I spoke with my uncle about it, he mentioned it may have something to do with the medications he is taking. His medications must have changed because he is very aware and present now.

He remembers that I am a vegetarian (ok, what are the odds when you have 23 grandkids and when you are the third kid of his third kid!), and he also remembers that I have "different" religious views. Today, after hearing me talk about life/work/rishtas, he told me to stop limiting myself to "Pakistani/Indian" folks.

Yup, yup! And he is fully aware of the situations and what he's saying.

Last we talked about it, he was quite surprised at the kinds of things people have been saying. His response was something along the lines of: Of all my children I have married off and all the grandkids, I have never encountered anyone talking about these things (religiousness). So, he too, after 88 years of life, is amazed at the kinds of things people are talking about.


There are many aspects of the desi culture I like. I wanted to share that with someone. But I would rather be with a sensible person than have this one specific culture to share. It's really nice to know my own parents and grandparents are open to that. Now would I go that route? Lets see.

Vaat a day!

Cried after realizing the extent of my passion; what I have decided to be my life's purpose. 

I am not even PMSing. Reminds me of a pastime from a previous lifetime:

How to Discover Your Life Purpose in About 20 Minutes:

"Here’s what to do:

1. Take out a blank sheet of paper or open up a word processor where you can type (I prefer the latter because it’s faster).
2. Write at the top, “What is my true purpose in life?”
3. Write an answer (any answer) that pops into your head. It doesn’t have to be a complete sentence. A short phrase is fine.
4. Repeat step 3 until you write the answer that makes you cry. This is your purpose."

Then came home to realize the person who called today at work about his friend having been attacked by a bear is actually in the news - not the person, the incident. Ended up seeing more news/images of attacks on people by wildlife and I am emotionally done for the day.

Niece's pictures, and her "puppo" literally release oxytocin in me. This is purely biological love. I am sure being a parent means having your heart explode with love. 

My schedule has made it impossible for me to hear niece's voice over the phone. By the time I am done, she is already in bed. And I have already started thinking of finding ways around it. I rarely talk to my own siblings as much as I want to talk to this one. Have never known love like this. 

Wish come true!

Yayy! There's an event being held in Pickering in my nana's (grandfather's) honour end of this month.

There, I have an event in Urdu that would be stimulating to some degree. There should be some poetry, some prose, many praises of nana abbu's work and some of his own poetry - most of which I quite enjoy.

-------
Knowing nana abbu since ammani's passing away, the event will turn emotional. He will end up talking about either his mom or ammani. Probably his mom. And everyone would be able to see the grief he carries for having lost his mom at 3 and his lifelong companion at 76.

Ok, I am going to be one of those people who complain that there are no good people there that you might want a life-long relationship with.

No, they aren't necessarily bad people. Just the kind I can't get along with for an extended period of time.

And I am too tired (right now) to think about expanding my ability to get along forever with A type personalities and super dutiful folks who find it difficult to question expectations.

I am also too tired to think about all the expectations I live up to and rarely question.

I has no right to be judging folks. I be no perfect at all in any way.

Yet there are people and mindsets I can't get along with. Probably because I am narrow minded in how I perceive them.

Je ne sais pas.

Was listening to You have been loved by George Michael and the following stuck out at me:

It's a cruel world
You've so much to prove
And heaven help the ones who wait for you

The song itself is about a mother who has lost her child, which then questions her faith in God. It's a painful yet beautiful song.

But that verse made me wonder about how we make life difficult in the littlest of ways. Regular stress in relationships, at work, financial stresses etc. All the kinds that don't at all threaten relationships/status, but exist as stress. We have more of this in life than major life changing stress.

It made me wonder if I am a moron for directing efforts elsewhere. If I am doing anything worthwhile at all to make life a teensy bit easier to live for people around me... Made me wonder how much a part of stress I am in other peoples lives...

I need a proper Urdu literary event to happen soon.

I am craving a mind stimulating experience in Urdu. It feels like home on a very cerebral level

YouTube can't sustain me at this point. I end up gravitating towards non-stimulating, harmonious ghazals.

My fallback for tonight: story of a man from secularism to islam, in English - the bits that I have read, this dude was very much into philosophy pre-islam (in his life). So I am curious about the path his mind took. He delves into some philosophy and his experience with studying philosophy.