Everyone has a story. Everyone is a tortured soul.

        Either that or I only attract tortured souls.


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Peace be upon everyone.

The times you come across books that start with your already existing knowledge base and then expand it by introducing a super cool perspective? That. Just came across one such book again. 

I want that moment.
Shine a light,
and have it rise
to the forefront
of our existence.

I want that moment
to turn crisp
with its own intensity
like the sun crackling
fallen autumn leaves

I want that moment
to turn delicious
under its own experience,
like a cheesecake
made of dark, dark chocolate

I want that moment
to be fearless
to thrive
on its own sweetness
and melt us
with its crispness.

Had one of those unfocused, disengaged, unproductive days. This shair is making its rounds in my head:

koi meray dil se poochay teray teer-e-neem-kash ko
ye khalish kahan se hotee, jo jigar k paar hota

bah.

And this:

teri nazuki se jaana k bandha tha ehd-e-boda
kabhi tu na tor sakta agr ustawar hota

is my fear of being unfocused.

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I get fully well what Ghalib was referring to instead.


One quick point about Cognitive Psychology, Encoding Memory and Retrieval of Memory:

We encode memory to our long term memory store by the meaning of the words and/or phrases. Retrieval means either the meaning itself or (in the case of partial retrieval) other memories associated with it have been accessed. In this case, the idea of 'not fully getting something' is how I seem to have encoded that shair, or at least, the shair activates other experiences of not having fully gotten things - an unengaged, unproductive day being one of them.

Short term memory on the other hand encodes memory based on the characteristics such as, rhyme-ability, visual of the word(s) etc. That is not to say rhyme and visuals do not help encode anything to the long term memory, but meaning trumps them all in quality. Short term memory has a much smaller capacity both in terms of size and how long it can be stored.

I am being so super emo. Goodness!

My heart actually ached today. Actually, literally ached because I didn't know how to tell my 9 year old cousin that I also email back and forth with her 13 year old sister. She always wants more attention than her siblings - but not a spoiled kid, just the regular middle child syndrome*. I knew she wouldn't like that she's not "special".

My brain decided that my heart area was supposed to actually ache over that! For her, I presume. And I couldn't send that email. Honestly, what the hell!!


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*Birth order has not been proven to have a significant affect on our personalities. Technically, it is proven to have a comparatively negligible affect on the development of personalities.