Yeh dhoop kinara - Faiz Ahmed Faiz

In Nayyara Noor's beautiful voice.

Music like this is one of the few things that help me feel better on a crappy day.

I don't like the part of life where you have to deal with your feelings by yourself :p.

I'll be fine in a couple hours. There is one mid-level stressor going on, one fear of a high-level stressor and another little annoyance to do with the mid-level stressor, for today. My insides are churning because of the fear of high level stressor. Its something that may have happened, and that's the worry. I have no way of finding out.

In CBT terms, its a high stressor because it goes to the question of love and belonging, and feeling unworthy.

:) - human beings are such amazing things, from feeling all these feelings to creating civilizations that can express these feelings and figure the matters of existence out. Life is funny, ridiculous and arbitrary.

I like Katie Melua's "its only pain". The song goes "it's only pain, it only hurts. I've been down on the floor where I've been before". She's talking about heartbreak, which luckily is far from what I'm feeling, but its only sadness/stress, it only sucks :p.

Aik jabr-e-waqt hai k jiyay ja rahay hain hum
aur isay zindagi bhi kahay ja rahay hain hum

rehnay ki ye jagah tou nahin hai laiken
pathar banay huay hain, jiyay ja rahay hain hum

- himayat ali shair

I only saw nana abbu last week, but I miss him. I miss our conversations. He has become so very quiet, there would be conversations going on around him about all those topics he used to take lead on, and now he just sits quietly :(. He just doesn't care.

I am so glad I have these:

All of my other feelings may be relaxing but my anger isnt. I don't have the patience for bullshit. I don't know how to handle people who lie to your face, act dishonourably and completely deny it.