Saturday, August 31, 2013

CBT

Reading up on Cognitive Behaviour Therapy and it makes me excited.

It points out exactly what cognitive error we make that lead to depression, anxiety etc. I really like CBT for how it only precisely looks at ones cognitions. Thoughts are easy to consider. They are better than trying Freudian word-association to figure out personality complexes - though that process might work too for diagnosis. CBT hits issues on its head, expects the person to sit down with their thoughts and observe them and do their homework - there is actual homework in CBT. It is not the (relatively) easy kind of talk-therapy. Though, talk therapy is still very necessary, it is the first step to uncovering faulty cognitions.

One of the things I absolutely love about CBT and Aaron Beck's work is the recognition that depression and anxiety are caused by two kinds of beliefs being threatened;

- One's sense of belongingness/being loved
- One's sense of ability

And one of the most common cognitive errors we make is overgeneralization, where we take one incident to conclude that we are unworthy of love and/or incapable. All of CBT is about recognizing where your thoughts go global about your worth, and then fixing them.

Because CBT is so action focused, one problem with it is the ease with which it can invalidate.

"You are thinking incorrectly." - which could of course be taken to mean, "I always think wrong thoughts. Something is wrong with me. I will never be okay."

What's worse is therapists have to take a no-nonsense approach with clients.

Better but less popular therapy is Acceptance and Commitment therapy. It starts with teaching clients to be accepting of themselves and their thoughts, instead of fighting them. It starts with the softer side of acceptance and CBT can then be used alongside.

One other problem with CBT is the possibility of imposing responsibility on the client for having those thoughts; a rape victim with anxious or depressive thoughts. And that it looks towards changing the world view of the client and sort of assumes that having strong, negative emotions is in some sense abnormal.

As much as I am a humanist in that people are entitled to their worldviews, I am also starting to recognize how limited people are and how we make our lives difficult. Other than helping/waiting for a person to feel empowered enough to make changes, I have not come across another solution. 

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

What be up with my life! It's alternating between happy and sad/stressful news. Though, this is better than them not alternating.

Major news coming up. It will either make me really happy for a week, or really stressed for a month. *heart beats HARD*

Come on happy newsss, you oughta winnn!!

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Love/Happiness/Gratitude

Stumbled upon some blogs when I really should have been sleeping. And I was filled with happiness. People are amazing. When they are being their honest selves, they are just so amazing. I can't help but feel a lot of love for these strangers because of how honest they are being about the positives and negatives of their lives. They're alive - in the Jungian sense.

Haha, we're all so human. SO human. I need to talk to madam best friend and let her know i love her.

Friday, August 23, 2013

Censor

Do you stop yourself
From thinking thoughts
That judge others,
And belittles their place?

Do you stop yourself
From thinking thoughts
That if shared aloud
Would break their hearts?

Do you stop yourself
From thinking thoughts
That you would hate
To be thought of you?

Do you stop yourself
From thinking thoughts
That you justify to be right
Because you’re "above" those mistakes?

Do you stop yourself
From thinking thoughts
That judge your self
And belittles your place?

Do you, my friend, stop yourself
From thinking thoughts
And censor the ones
That are considered wrong?

Thursday, August 22, 2013

"Mindset"

(attempt at explaining a research finding in a freestyle poem format. would love to be able to get it to rhyme.)

don't tell your kids they're smart
don't praise them for their brilliance
praise them for their effort
the desire to dedicate
to inhibit all other impulses
to concentrate
on the task at hand
to employ strategies
and review them as the need may be
praise their use of skills
and strategy, to achieve

Dweck gave children
certain tasks to complete
then praised them for either
effort or intelligence.
On the second round of tests
that were harder than before
children praised for intelligence
did not do so well.
did not try as much.
children praised for effort
employed the use of effort
to solve the problem at hand
better than the children
praised for intelligence.

Don't ever praise your children
for their intelligence,
or their brilliance.
how-ever brilliant they might be.

Saturday, August 17, 2013

People say

People say a lot of things.
Much of it is true.
But a lot is just wishes
disguised as truths

People are people,
imperfect to the core.
Amazing
And lacking.

We lie to ourselves
and to the world
there is no running away, sweety
from our imperfections
our cover ups
and screw ups
our lies and disguises

People say a lot of things.
Much of it is true
but a lot is just wishes.


Sunday, August 11, 2013

Thought

The problem with thought is that it is never thought deeply enough or widely enough.

---
The above can also be followed up with limitations of its own.
Reminder and also to think/write more about:

Buddhism:

Mindfulness in social situations. Being open to others reality instead of jumping to "safe" conclusions.

Friday, August 9, 2013

Learning

Some books make you feel (all of these):

- small. very small for how little you know
- pride for knowing what you know
- excitement that makes you want to get up and RUN because of what you just learned

Sunday, August 4, 2013

Buddhism:

Non-attachment vs. Not caring

Saturday, August 3, 2013

Ghalib's Bazeecha-e-atfal:

Bolded ones are the ones I really like for how beautifully he made the point.

1. baazeechaa-e-atfaal hai duniya mere aage
hota hai shab-o-roz tamaasha mere aage

[ baazeechaa = play/sport, atfaal = children ]

2. ik khel hai auraNg-e-sulemaaN mere nazdeek
ik baat hai 'eijaz-e-maseeha mere aage

[ auraNg = throne, 'eijaz = miracle ]

3. juz naam naheeN soorat-e-aalam mujhe manzoor
juz waham naheeN hastee-e-ashiya mere aage

[ juz = other than, aalam = world, hastee = existence,
ashiya = things/items ]

4. hota hai nihaaN gard meiN sehara mere hote
ghisata hai jabeeN KHaak pe dariya mere aage


[ nihaaN = hidden, gard = dust, sehara = desert, jabeeN = forehead ]

5. mat pooch ke kya haal hai mera tere peeche ?
too dekh ke kya rang tera mere aage

6. sach kahte ho, KHudbeen-o-KHud_aaraa na kyoN hooN ?
baiTha hai but-e-aainaa_seemaa mere aage

[ KHudbeen = proud/arrogant, KHud_aaraa = self adorer,
but = beloved, aainaa_seemaa = like the face of a mirror ]

7. phir dekhiye andaaz-e-gul_afshaani-e-guftaar
rakh de koee paimaanaa-o-sahba mere aage


[ gul_afshaanee = to scatter flowers, guftaar = speech/discourse,
sahaba = wine, esp. red wine ]

8. nafrat ka gumaaN guzare hai, maiN rashk se guzaraa
kyoN kar kahooN, lo naam na uska mere aage

[ gumaaN = doubt, rashk = envy ]

9. imaaN mujhe roke hai jo khiNche hai mujhe kufr
ka'aba mere peeche hai kaleesa mere aage

[ kufr = impiety, kaleesa = church/cathedral ]

10. aashiq hooN, pe maashooq_farebee hai mera kaam
majnooN ko bura kehti hai laila mere aage

[ farebee = a fraud/cheat ]

11. KHush hote haiN par wasl meiN yoN mar naheeN jaate
aayee shab-e-hijaraaN ki tamanna mere aage

[ hijr = separation ]

12. hai mauj_zan ik qulzum-e-KHooN, kaash, yahee ho
aata hai abhee dekhiye kya-kya mere aage

[ mauj_zan = exciting, qulzum = sea, KHooN = blood ]

13. go haath ko jumbish naheeN aaNhoN meiN to dam hai
rehne do abhee saaGHar-o-meena mere aage

[ jumbish = movement/vibration, saaGHar-o-meena = goblet ]

14. ham_pesha-o-ham_masharb-o-ham_raaz hai mera
'GHalib' ko bura kyoN kaho achchaa mere aage !

[ ham_pesha = of the same profession, ham_masharb = of the
same habits/a fellow boozer, ham_raaz = confidant ]