I may be a bit of a commitment phobe. Not that I don't want to commit, but that I am actually afraid.
Not afraid of 'what if a better person comes along' or 'one person for the rest of my life', I think it's more of fear of real, true emotional intimacy. The navigation through emotions, expectations and the hope to arrive at some sort of agreements.
I get what I heard growing up; these relationships are as delicate as threads as strong as chains.
It is the fear of investing all of you, only to find nothing at the end.
I don't know why I am being such a child about it though.
There's also so much life in putting yourself out there, to think before you speak, to express the truth, to watch the reaction, to keep it from falling, to give in, to keep yourself from giving in, to weep through affection and cry through the pain, to feel that deep connection...
Not afraid of 'what if a better person comes along' or 'one person for the rest of my life', I think it's more of fear of real, true emotional intimacy. The navigation through emotions, expectations and the hope to arrive at some sort of agreements.
I get what I heard growing up; these relationships are as delicate as threads as strong as chains.
It is the fear of investing all of you, only to find nothing at the end.
I don't know why I am being such a child about it though.
There's also so much life in putting yourself out there, to think before you speak, to express the truth, to watch the reaction, to keep it from falling, to give in, to keep yourself from giving in, to weep through affection and cry through the pain, to feel that deep connection...
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