It just occurred to me that when people find out I aspire to be a therapist, they start interacting with me expecting a therapist. They don't necessarily open up about their deepest fears and traumas right away, but whatever they say, they expect therapist-like replies and/or understanding.
I like to believe I interact with people with compassion. But sometimes there are relationships in which you want to make sure you do not have more power, even if it's due to compassion and understanding.
There's a power imbalance that comes through in therapist-client relationships. One of the newest turns in psychotherapy is to move away from calling people 'patients' in the favour of 'clients'. People who work with therapists are NOT patients. They are clients, accessing a service that the therapist is paid for. (And this statement would legitimately tick off all the hard working therapists whose work is minimized because they are "paid")
This change has been made to cancel out the power imbalance. The humanist perspectives consider people to be experts on their lives and therapists as tools to get through their minds to find their solutions.
So when people interact with me expecting me to have greater compassion and understanding than themselves, I find it disconcerting. I do not need or want power imbalances in my closest relationships. I want to feel just as safe with you as you might with me.
Though, now that I am thinking some more, the responsibility of being there for someone is also one I am more than happy to take on. I am honored when someone feels they can talk to me about difficult aspects of their life. At the same time, unfortunately, I need friends and more-than friends (ahem!) to be there for me as well.
I can't and won't do your part of the work in any relationship. Speak up. Say what you need to say. And you, at the very least, will be greeted with compassion and understanding.
I have all the same fears as you.
(...because now I am wondering if I just made up that people expect those things of me.)
I like to believe I interact with people with compassion. But sometimes there are relationships in which you want to make sure you do not have more power, even if it's due to compassion and understanding.
There's a power imbalance that comes through in therapist-client relationships. One of the newest turns in psychotherapy is to move away from calling people 'patients' in the favour of 'clients'. People who work with therapists are NOT patients. They are clients, accessing a service that the therapist is paid for. (And this statement would legitimately tick off all the hard working therapists whose work is minimized because they are "paid")
This change has been made to cancel out the power imbalance. The humanist perspectives consider people to be experts on their lives and therapists as tools to get through their minds to find their solutions.
So when people interact with me expecting me to have greater compassion and understanding than themselves, I find it disconcerting. I do not need or want power imbalances in my closest relationships. I want to feel just as safe with you as you might with me.
Though, now that I am thinking some more, the responsibility of being there for someone is also one I am more than happy to take on. I am honored when someone feels they can talk to me about difficult aspects of their life. At the same time, unfortunately, I need friends and more-than friends (ahem!) to be there for me as well.
I can't and won't do your part of the work in any relationship. Speak up. Say what you need to say. And you, at the very least, will be greeted with compassion and understanding.
I have all the same fears as you.
(...because now I am wondering if I just made up that people expect those things of me.)
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